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Get Back

This week I finally accomplished the task of creating a message board; this has been in the works now for over a year. I was going to finish it with my mom, but we hardly see each other. Then I was going to finish it with my friend, but we’ve not been scheduled off enough time at the same time to finish it. The other day, I finished it myself. I’m pretty proud of it, even though its a bit lumpy on one side. The whole point of this board was to hang it above my drawing table to “draw” inspiration from. I was worried at first about not having enough memories and drawings to fill it up. Sorting through piles of things I’ve collected, I found things one of my best friends here gave me, and some things one of my best friends back in Ozark gave me. Strangely, they have a similar sense of humor.

I found an old Valentine’s card from my best friend back home. This one in particular sported The Red Ranger of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.  She lovingly wrote on the back, “Hey Spazz!” and exclaimed I looked like a “terd”, (yes, spelled with an “e”) because I was wearing a brown sweater that day.

"You look like a 'terd'!"

This was enveloped with song verses to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band…also highly appropriate for Valentine’s Day. My friend here in St. Louis will do similar things. She’ll pass me notes sometimes at work with song verses of the current song on the radio illustrated in full glory. Both friends write and draw things that make me laugh uncontrollably.

The last couple of weeks have been an interesting process, I’ve been trying to plan a short trip back home; it’s pretty much a 48 hour trip. This particular trip is going to be different, I’m going to be bringing one of my best friends from St. Louis with me (the one mentioned above) and introduce her to some of my other closest friends; including the one that said I looked like a “terd”.  These friends I’ve lately been referring to as “The Ozark Mafia”. It wasn’t until early this morning I started worrying about this introduction. Recently  e-mailing one of my friends, he and I have been discussing a barbecue that’s going to take place at my parents house. He asked the typical questions, “What does one need to bring?” “How are we to dress?” then he goes on from there. I got to the bottom of his list of questions, and he asked, “Will you be doing any Cher imitations?”

Wow.

The last question caught me off guard and made me giggle. In the process of growing up, one can forget exactly where they came from at times. I read a book called, “Friends like these” where the author Danny Wallace talks about how this happens. He talks about how friends are there to remind you of who you were and where you “came from” so to speak. In my case, I forgot just how well this friend knew me.  (“If only I could turn back time” so he didn’t have to witness the aforementioned Cher impersonation.)

I worry my friends back home will tell my best friend up here what I was ACTUALLY like, from their own perceptions.

These last few months have been trying for me, and its been difficult feeling some people out and realizing who doesn’t mind if you’re a goofball and yourself around them. Recently I had a situation where I found out someone just really thought I was too goofy and had enough. In describing this incident to a best friend back home she reminded me and said, “If you were to act this way in front of us (The Ozark Mafia), would we have cared?”

She was right.

“No,” I said reluctantly. Then I quickly corrected myself and said, “Yes.”, just because I didn’t want to admit the sad truth; the truth that my goofy demeanor, that makes me… me, drove this other person up a wall. She said, “NO, you KNOW we wouldn’t mind!” She reminded me that true friends love you for who you are, quirks, corny jokes and all. In remembering this particular conversation, I’m constantly reminded that I shouldn’t worry. If people stick around, it’s because they love you for you. Dr. Seuss put it best, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Maybe I worry too much. Maybe I’m just worried my St. Louis best friend will find out just how unashamed, carefree, and unabashedly awkward I was and how much I’ve changed from that, into this person that thinks too much about what others might think. Maybe I’m afraid not necessarily what she’ll find out, but what I’ll find out; that at one time I was a cool chick and turned into this…whatever I am now.

Hopefully this trip will be a good reminder and knowing my friends, they’ll understand exactly where I’m coming from. They’ve been helping me along the way to remember what it was like to be me, and surely in person everything will become much much clearer. If I’m lucky, maybe we’ll celebrate at the barbecue and all do a rendition of the Beatles, “Get Back” and sing the famous verse, “Get back to where you once belonged.”

Here’s to the future of becoming my old self.

What have your friends reminded you of that you’ve forgotten about yourself?  How do your friends keep you in check?

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6 responses to “Get Back

  1. katie

    Just be yourself miss boogerton! no matter what your new OR old friends think of you. You shouldn’t be the same person you were ten years ago, because you have lived and experienced so many new things.

  2. Thanks Katie! (Thats Miss VON Boogerton to you!) You’re right, you should ALWAYS be yourself, but somewhere along the way I feel like I’ve lost part of myself or forgot something. They say the first thing to go with age is your memory right?

    Although someone shouldn’t be exactly who they were ten years ago, you would hope that there are some parts of them that still exist, like good personality traits and quirks. :)

    Even though we all have experienced new things, there are some things from my past I would like to see come back, like persistence, not caring what people thought, just doing something because you feel like doing it and not because there is something to gain from it. (In regards to Art and the comic book.)

    Are there some things from your past you would like to see come back? (Personality wise?)

  3. Kerri ⋅

    I think it’s important to retouch your “roots” every once in awhile . Facebook has been great for me to reconnect with old pals that I had lost track of (due to many reasons ..) I too know the nervous butterflies in the pit of the tummy when introducing old friends to new friends. I did it a few weekends ago when I ran the Brew to Brew in KC when I introduced my current set of close buddies to one of my other friends who was from my “when i was married group”. What I realized is that while they may not all end up being friends themselves I am the common bond between all of them and they all love me in their own way and for the many facets of my personality. You never know how things are going to turn out , but that is part of the wild ride that is life and rest assured there will always be a friend there to catch you when you need catching.
    I can identify with the feeling of “having lost part of yourself” and that is why I think it is so important to sit down every once in awhile and remember just who you are and what you find important . The rest of it can be swept out the door and you won’t miss it a bit.

    • Kerri, that is such great advice! So how did your meet and greet go amongst your friends? It must have been nerve racking, knowing that we we have shared similar experiences, introducing some friends and getting reacquainted with those friends from another point in time in your life. I love what you said, ” rest assured there will always be a friend there to catch you when you need catching.” This is so true. SO true. Even though we may lose part of ourselves, our family and friends are there to remind us of the good things that make us, us…especially when we’ve forgotten. Thank you for your post! :)

  4. Kerri ⋅

    I am such the goober. I just now saw this. The meeting went great. My new friends agreed that he seems like a fine fella. They all seemed to get along very well even with his quirky sense of humor. I hope that the next time we are all up in KC he can join us the next time we are out on the town.

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